I haven’t written about my books in a long time. Today, I’ll be talking about my most recent book, Devotion To Despondency. Before we begin, spoiler warning.
I will be talking about spoilers towards the end of this post. You’ve been warned.
You can buy the book with the link below, and give it a read before returning.
Let’s begin.
Devotion To Despondency focuses heavily on mental health, but mainly anxiety.
For those who don’t know, I struggle with both of those things. Devotion to Despondency was partly my way of explaining how I feel and how it frustrates me.
I think a lot of people get frustrated with love. Romance is painful, probably the most painful thing. While the story uses my own experiences of Mental Health and anxiety, it exaggerates and dramatises my thoughts and experiences of romance. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. I know what it feels like. Heartbreak was what made me start writing this, the idea of unrequited love is always written about. Every author writes about it because it’s relatable, but also because they want to feel better about themselves.
I’m accepting of it all, but I’ll still write about it. I’ll still express it.
A lot of love stories have a happy ending or a happy ending for some. This story doesn’t have that. I didn’t want it to. I love a happy ending, but a sad ending creates a different feeling.
Anyway, let’s get away from that and talk about other stuff.
First, 90% of this book was written drunk. Almost every single line was written and crafted while I was drunk. That’s not saying I drank every day to write this, I only worked on this while drunk, whenever that would be. I didn’t have the intention to do that at first, but I couldn’t figure out what to write. My drunk self just typed on his keyboard and continued to do so with little care.
I think it turned out great. I went back through it sober, rereading each chapter and fixing some spelling mistakes and random things I noticed, but I thought it was good.
This is another book in my “Don’t Care” Series, where I just write to write. I didn’t create any fancy document with tons of notes. I didn’t plan out any chapters, I just wrote until I was done. I had the occasional idea written at the bottom of the pages, but those were hardly looked at.
It felt more sincere coming from the heart and not some calculated work.
Next, there was a bit of cut content. I wanted to have a few moments with the MC (Main Character) and Rin but felt it clashed with his thoughts too much. I liked that he didn’t speak to her much and because of that struggled. His anxiety got out of control.
Speaking of, let’s talk about the Main Character.
Throughout the whole book, the Main character’s name is never mentioned. He doesn’t have one. There is very little description of him. I wanted people to imagine themselves as the main character rather than get attached to someone random. The reason I say this, was because the main character isn’t a nice person. I didn’t want people to feel empathetic towards him, I wanted them to be sad about what happened, but because they could relate to it more than anything else. They weren’t losing a friend, they were losing what could be themselves.
I don’t know if the above makes sense. It may make more sense if you read the book, so go read the book.
Thanks for reading. That’s all for this one.
We are close to the end of the year, so I’ve got my usual end-of-year posts lined up.
I thank you all for your support, if you want to support me, buy one of my books! It’s a great way to help me and get something in return.
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