I am a man of many flaws

I am a man of many flaws.

Despite how it may seem, I am a human being, one similar to most in that they experience many weaknesses.

But, what are these weaknesses? Well, the two most prominent ones have plagued humanity for generations and will do for generations to come.

Depression and Anxiety.

I’ve written multiple times about anxiety, but those posts only offer brief salvation.

I am displeased with my life. I am dissatisfied with myself.

I am not living the life I wish to live, and I am nowhere near it.

Is that a bad thing? Most would say no because it’s not as if my life is terrible. My life is actually pretty good from an outside point of view. But for me, it’s not.

This is exactly how depression and anxiety are. From the outside, someone may seem perfect, but the truth is the opposite.

In my case, I expected to be in other places. At 23 years of age, I am not where I expected.

Is that a problem? To me, yes, but in reality no.

So, in this case, what matters more, me or reality?

I’d say me, but I’d also say reality.

Reality will ground me, but I will not stay grounded for long.

I can only use these words to help myself so many times before I rewrite them in various ways.

I can only listen to the same playlist of amazing songs before I become sick of them and what they once stood for in my mind.

I can only hope that It’ll change.

How will it change?

The truth is that I have to change it, but my mind keeps telling me that I won’t be able to, as, behind the scenes, the life I want is hidden behind luck. The life we all want is hidden behind luck.

There is little I can do, I can only hope to wake up one day to the life I desire.

Whatever shape it may take. Whatever day that is, I hope it comes soon.

Each day I feel anxious, as I feel the people around me stare at me.

Each day I repeat their displeasure as if they are constantly talking about me behind my back.

Yet, there is nothing I can do.

Thanks for reading.

A strange one, but life is strange. We are getting closer to winter in the UK and the weather is already super cold. Seasonal depression is already starting to hit a lot of people, myself included.

Anyway, as always, be sure to share, comment and follow. It helps me out greatly.

Once again, thanks for reading and as always my links are below.

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