Years of Hesitancy. A title I’m surprisingly proud of. By title, I don’t mean the whole book, I just mean the title ‘Years of Hesitancy’.
Why don’t I like it?
I’ll tell you.
But first, here is a spoiler warning. This post will go into spoilers about my book Years of Hesitancy. If you haven’t read it, then you can find it with this link below.
As always, let’s start by talking about inspiration. And once again, it was from a dream!
This was an old dream, I think it happened around 7 years ago. Basically, I was in a strange school and liked this girl that I was close with. I was in a dodgeball class and overheard rumours about that girl being liked by someone else. There was another part in the dream where I was walking home from school but I can’t remember much about it. Once I woke up more of the dream became clear as the childhood friend aspect was added.
You can see how similar this is to the final book, but also different.
The final book has the same ‘love triangle’ but also introduces another character, Amy.
Amy is an interesting character as she was mostly written on the spot, alongside her brother, Dylan. Amy’s inclusion was as a way to add rivalry between Erin and Kai. Erin was to get jealous the same way Kai does of Cory. Except, as I kept writing the character, I started to like her more and more until she became my favourite character in the book. As for Dylan, he was an even more interesting character, as he was meant to have Cory’s role. Dylan was meant to date Erin but wasn’t close enough to Kai to create the tension I was after.
Next, let’s talk about the story.
I like it, but I also don’t. I enjoy Amy and Kai’s part, but Erin suddenly dating Cory always felt rushed, because it was. I had plans to make it slower, but that would add another 100 pages that I didn’t feel were necessary. If I dragged it out any longer then the story would lose focus and have less meaning. The characters would start to feel like blobs as the scenarios they are put in would blend into one. It’s a type of thing I try to avoid because it isn’t needed.
The story as a whole reminded me of my Web Novel Continuous School. The setting is very similar and I’d say the characters are too.
Let’s finish up the story section by talking about cut content. Dylan was meant to be a jealous type. He was going to interfere with Kai and Erin, to the point of sabotage. Erin was going to injure herself to get out of running a race, but instead just said she didn’t want to do it.
Finally, Kai was originally going to have to make a choice. Erin was going to ask Kai to watch her race, and then confess her feelings if he came. Amy would also say the same thing, and Kai would have to decide who to go watch. At the end of that version, he would go to Amy, just like in the final book.
When writing this book, it went under a codename. The last thing I create is the book title, and all my other books went through a similar ‘codename’. A hobbyist’s chance was ‘Lucas and Mia’. The Hunting Trio was ‘Horror/Thriller’. An aspect of Hope was ‘First Sight’. One’s Confined Life was ‘Majora’s World’ and this was ‘RomCom’. There are some elements of romcom in there, but I’d say more Rom than Com.
Lastly, the front cover. The front cover may seem weird, and that’s because it is. It’s actually a badminton court, with a little EasterEgg somewhere in there.
Thanks for reading!
This was weird because I wrote the book so long ago that I’d forgotten a lot about it. I went back to check my notes, and there wasn’t much I could find. There was a lot of messy things for plot points but nothing I could concretely remember.
Anyway, as always my links are below, and once again thank you for reading.
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